If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I like to take silly Lego photos. Since I don’t have a new Christmas novella out this year and I feel I should do something, I thought I’d collect 24 vaguely Christmassy images and make an advent calendar of them.
In A Royal Wedding, each chapter starts with a newspaper clipping. Here’s the start of chapter 3. I did a ton of research for this book, so this is actually genuine advice, y’know, in case you should meet a senior royal.
Rules to observe when you meet a member of the Royal family
Don’t be like Kumari Senavaka. Know your royal etiquette
Rule 1. Don’t touch them. Don’t initiate a handshake. If they indicate they want to shake your hand, do so, but then let go!
Rule 2: No selfies. The royals are not allowed to take selfies. You may ask someone else to take a photo, but no standing up close.
Rule 3: Show respect. Gentlemen bow and ladies curtsey to the Queen. Although the younger royals don’t insist on bows and curtseys, you may still want to, especially if you’re meeting Princess Helena because she is the future Queen.
Rule 4: Use proper forms of address. No first names please. The Queen should always be addressed as ‘Your Majesty’ at first and then ma’am. The Princes and princesses should be addressed as ‘Your Highness’ in the first instance and then ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ as appropriate.
Rule 5: When the Queen arrives, stand up.
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
A friend lent this book to me many years ago and I loved it so much that I bought a copy. It is completely bonkers and fun. There is absolutely NOTHING serious about it.
I like to dip into it every so often when I need cheering up. I love the small ads pages. The ad for ‘Can’t you Breathe Little Bear’ had me in stitches. I love the town names too, especially Effing Sodbury.
This is very British and very, very silly. Sometimes you need that.
Amazon buy link for The Framley Examiner
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This latest installment of the adventures of Space Captain Smith and the crew of the John Pym is a return to form with battles and jokes and a cracking good yarn. It had me laughing out loud in places.
Best enjoyed with a nice fortifying cup of tea. Jolly good show.
Both Olivia and Walter undergo changes that they feel are bad, but end up being positive. Have you ever had a blessing in disguise? …
When I was at university (years ago now – before Twitter or Facebook existed!), I was on a four year course. My college allocated accommodation in college owned houses for fourth years and where you ended up was decided by ballot. I was given a place in a college house which was in North Oxford. It was lovely and cheap. The only problem was, I wouldn’t be living with any friends. Everyone else in the house was a lot cooler and smoother and more ‘Oxford’ than I was. Most of them went to public school – whereas I went to a small northern comprehensive. Even though they were all very nice people, I would Not Fit In.
This caused me quite a lot of anxiety at the time. I was already hamstrung by impostor syndrome at ‘work’, I didn’t need to face it at home as well! The final blow came in the form of an invitation to a birthday party which suggested ‘designer labels’ as a dress code (I didn’t own any). I panicked and started to look for somewhere else I could live. A friend mentioned a place affectionately called ‘the nunnery’ – a student community run by the Convent of the Sacred Heart (the house appears in Girl In Trouble as the venue for Tom’s wedding). You had to have an interview to get a chance to live there. It was a chance. I took it. I was lucky enough to get in.
In my first week living in the house, I met a skinny young research chemist who was starting his first year as a PhD student. We bonded over a very stupid joke that no one else got. We’ve been together ever since. So, yes. Being allocated a room in a house where I would not fit in was definitely a blessing in disguise.
Walter thinks hydrothermal vents are beautiful, but no one else does. What is your obscure love/ guilty pleasure, and why? …
I have a thing for carnivorous plants. Okay, I’m not terribly good at keeping them alive (they’re delicate little things), but for a while I had a small collection – several sundews, a butterwort and one tiny liverwort which lived in a terrarium on my windowsill and every so often produced the most incredible flowers. I also had several pitcher plants – two nepenthes and one sarracenia which lived outside in a pear tree. I used to carry a matchbox around into which I could put dead flies so that I could feed them to the sundews.
They are delicate and need rainwater to survive (not the hard water that came out of the tap) and after the kids were born, I kept forgetting to water them. In the end, when we moved house, I left them behind.
As for hydrothemal vents, I think they’re amazing… but not as beautiful as Walter thinks they are. Weirdo.
Since The Octonauts comes up a lot in the book – what is the TV program or book or game that you miss most from your childhood?
My older daughter was a big fan of The Octonauts, so I watched a lot of it. I still find the little figurines from time to time. There were some seriously odd things about the show – the matter of scale, for a start; and then the fact that those creatures would naturally be part of a food chain… On the other hand, they had some cool tech. The Octopod is very space age. The creatures that show up in the show are carefully researched and reflect marine life very well (when we moved to Hull and started visiting The Deep, we were surprised at how accurate the descriptions and pictures on the show were). We’ve had many interesting discussions about life via The Octonauts. Like the distinction between ‘A medical doctor like Peso, or a doctor who studies things, like Shellington’.
I had rather a lot about The Octonauts in the book – because Walter’s daughter (well, Walter, really) is a fan. I ended up editing quite a lot of it out because it didn’t have much to do with the story.
I hope you enjoyed my contribution to the blog splash. I’ll be sharing the other posts from people throughout the day. And… please buy my book.
Walter’s ex is moving his daughter to America and Walter feels like he’s losing his family. When his friend-with-benefits, Olivia, discovers she’s pregnant by her douchebag ex, Walter sees the perfect chance to be part of a family with a woman he loves. But how can Walter persuade the most independent woman he’s ever met to accept his help, let alone his heart?
Girl In Trouble is the third book in the award nominated Smart Girls series by Rhoda Baxter. If you like charming heroes, alpha heroines and sparkling dialogue, you’ll love this series. Ideal for fans of Sarah Morgan, Lindsey Kelk or Meg Cabot’s Boy books. Buy now and meet your new favourite heroine today.
It’s on special offer for 99p until the 10th of October (tomorrow!). If you buy this week you get two short books as a bonus!
This is a very self indulgent post. I don’t do many of these, but this week has been a strange one… because on Tuesday I went to Buckingham Palace. No, really.
Sometime in January, I had an email from the Society of Authors asking if I’d been to a Royal Garden Party before and if not, if I’d like to go (you’re supposed to go only once). The answer was a resounding ‘yes’ (obviously).
I’d heard about Royal Garden parties, but I had never entertained the possibility of going to one. Well, you don’t, do you? It turns out that the Soc of Authors was offered some tickets which they could offer and my name came out of the ballot. [I volunteer on their Authors North Events committee – which is tremendous fun and I’ve met some lovely people through the events]. Thank you Society of Authors!
I caught the train down on Tuesday morning (Hull Trains do a direct service to King’s Cross) and got there at lunchtime. I had plenty of time to get changed and get across to Victoria Station, where I met my friend who was my plus. I couldn’t take my husband because he was needed at home for babysitting duty. So my friend and I both had an afternoon off while our husbands were left at home looking after the children.
We queued – very British – and went through the grand entrance to the Palace, which meant we got to walk through a small section of the Palace (under the famous balcony where they wave from) to get to the gardens.
The Queen has beautiful gardens. You could forget you were in London if it weren’t for the skyscrapers in the distance and the sirens. It was a nice, warm day and it didn’t rain, so I didn’t need the umbrella or the pashmina that I’d crammed into my handbag. The tea itself was lovely. There were lots of little cakes and, of course, cucumber sandwiches. All the staff (both the Palace staff and the catering folk) were very smiley and very helpful, which was nice.
I didn’t get to see the Queen (only a glimpse at a vast distance) because I’m a short person and short people don’t get to see things when in a crowd. I did see the Queen through the screen on the phone of the person in front of me, but I’m not sure that counts as actually seeing her. I did get to see the Duke of Edinburgh, but not to ‘meet’ him as such. My friend and I gave us trying to spot the royals after a bit and went back for a second cup of tea instead (there was no queue this time!).
Afterwards, my friend and I went out for a curry, because it seemed like the right thing to do when wearing an outfit posh enough to require a hat.
The next morning, I had an hour to kill before my train, so I went to see the Wellcome Collection. It was fascinating (and free). I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the collection of erotic/phallic objects was a bit of a surprise. The things that intrigued me most were the mummified man and the wood and leather prosthetic legs. Oh, and the
human genome in book form. It always amazes me that everything that we are is coded for by combinations of just four base pairs. From that arises infinite variety.
If you are ever at a loose end near Euston, I do recommend the Wellcome Collection. The cafe does excellent cakes and the shop is full of all sorts of geeky science gifts. Incidentally, if you have luggage, they have a cloakroom, so you don’t have to drag your suitcase around the exhibitions.
So there you have my exciting week. How was your week? Any exciting news?
Here, for no good reason, is list of things that I love:
Reading – My mum taught me to read. By the time I got to school, I was reading Teddy Robinson and Amelia Jane books to myself. This meant that the library books at school were way to baby-ish. I asked the school librarian if I could go to the middle school library section. She let me, with supervision, choose the big books. Hooray for open minded librarians!
Lego – My brother and I had Lego when we were kids and we shared the sets (there was no pink Lego on those days). I was the one who read the instructions and built the sets. He was the one who went free style and built houses with escape hatches and booby traps. My kids aren’t particularly interested in Lego (although one of them loves Minecraft), so I can’t pretend I’m buying Lego for them… I make Lego book trailers for my novels.
Confectionery – I like to bake. I love to EAT cake. I was once called a cake Fiend. Such was my reputation that the lady from the canteen used to stop by on Friday and pass me a cake that was going to go off over the weekend… I don’t eat as much cake as I used to because I was in serious danger of being wider than I am tall. I’m only 4 ft 8, so there isn’t much room to play with.
Chocolate – technically, this should go under confectionery… but I feel it deserves a special mention.
Peter Parker – note, the preference for Peter over Spidey. Everyone wants to have secret superpowers and I’m no exception. Also, Peter designed his own web solution and the cartridges that fire the stuff with the trigger nested in his palm. A chemist and an engineer. Be still my beating heart.
Firefly – I love Firefly. Buffy passed me by somehow, so my introduction to Joss Whedon’s work was actually Doctor Horrible (loved it!). Then I saw Firefly. I’ve seen the whole series several times and I’m more than a little bit in love with Alan Tudyk (how can you not love a man who combines talent and silliness!). Shiny.
British Comedy – Blackadder, The IT Crowd, Black Books, Green Wing, Spaced, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, to name a few… I’m ambivalent towards Monty Python apart from Life Of Brian. I love Life of Brian because it contains my favourite joke.
Star Trek the Original series – because it Blew My Mind.
Dr Who – Strictly New Who only. I started watching it with the 10th Doctor. I went back and caught up with the Eccleston years, but David Tennant is The Doctor to me. Always. I didn’t watch Dr Who when I was a child. It was on too late, probably, or was too scary. Come to think of it, I’m not sure it even made it to Sri Lanka. Did it? Anyone?
The Big Bang Theory – because I love nerd jokes and I knew people like that at university. Clever is the new sexy.
Clearing fluff from the filters on the tumble dryer – because it’s so satisfying.
Beta male heroes – because they are so much more fun than alphas. I like a man who can take a joke. If they wear glasses, so much the better. I reckon all men look more attractive with glasses on. See also, Big Bang Theory and Peter Parker.
So, what do you love? Tell me in the comments.
Over the Christmas holidays I watched Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency on Netflix. It will come as no surprise to you that I loved the books. This is not so much an adaptation as an expansion of the Gently-verse. I LOVED it. I wrote a review for the fabulous Smart Bitches Trashy Books blog (whose comments section is the closest thing I’ve found to ‘my tribe’). You can read the review here: http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/reviews/guest-squee-dirk-gentlys-holistic-detective-agency/
In the meantime, here’s one of the trailers:
A few years ago, I started drawing an advent calendar to colour in at work. I usually ask my favourite muse (who blogs over at The Inspiration Highway) for a theme. This year, it’s foxes. So here’s my foxy advent calendar to colour in. Have fun. Don’t forget to tweet me your colouring in pictures!
Download the PDF: 2016-christmas-colouring-in